Succeed With Confidence
“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy." –Norman Vincent Peale
I was out walking when I passed two teenagers – a boy and a girl. They were appealing and well groomed but they looked thoroughly downtrodden and dispirited. I thought to myself, “If only they had a better self-image, they would be on top of the world.” Of course, the teenage years are when most people experience doubts about themselves. What is important is that we don’t get stuck in this way of thinking. Why should anyone believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself? Confidence is a key ingredient to success and you must create it in yourself. You are responsible for your success and there is always something you can do about it! Success tip number one: Believe in yourself!
One obstacle to developing confidence in ourselves is the little inner voice we all have. You know the one. It says, “I really messed that up!” or “I’m such an idiot!” or similar things. What’s bizarre about this is that you are saying, “I don’t believe in me.” There are many ways to change such thinking. One is to take a step back and realize that this inner voice isn’t really who you are, it’s just a part of you. Find the other part, the part that talks to you when you accomplish something great. Or make a list of all of your accomplishments and pull it out when you start getting down on yourself. Find proof that counters your negative voice. Success tip number two: Fight back against your one-sided negative inner voice!
Another obstacle to increasing self-worth is the fear of being wrong. You’ve probably sat in a lecture, thinking you know the answer to a question asked, but not being certain enough to volunteer your response. Rather than risk being wrong, you look down at your notes. Why? Even when you’re wrong, most speakers appreciate your attempt and explain the correct answer. So it is with most things in life. Taking risks and making errors is the way we learn best. And learning instills confidence. As Peter Drucker noted, “People who don't take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year. People who do take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year.” Success tip number three: to increase your confidence, permit yourself to make mistakes and learn.
A lot of confidence-crushing self-doubt stems from concern about other people’s opinions. Curiously, the folks with the most vocal opinions are often the ones who are most concerned about what others think of them. How much can their opinion really be worth to you? As Wayne Dyer once noted, everyone you meet has an opinion about you and you have almost no control over their opinions. This suggests that being concerned with other people’s opinions of you sacrifices your self-confidence for no good reason. Success tip number four: believe in yourself and stop being concerned with other people’s opinions since you can rarely change them.
A great way to build your confidence is actively learning new skills and get involved in new activities. These are great ways to grow, improve ourselves, and build self-worth. Focusing on action also tends to silence the negative inner voice, removes concern about being wrong and worrying about what other people think. As Lucille Ball explained, “One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.” Success tip number five: to improve your confidence, try new things, focus on activity and build skills and abilities.
Another way to create confidence is quite simple: behave as if you were confident. I am not usually a fan of the “fake it until you make it” philosophy, but this is one of those instances where I not only think it works, it works quite well. No doubt you’ve noticed that on some days you feel like you could conquer the world all by yourself. Where does that come from? Confidence is a mental state that you create. Tony Robbins suggests an exercise where you walk around as if you were wearing a cape – holding yourself in such a way that the cape flows dramatically behind you. It may sound a bit silly, but you’ll probably be surprised by how it makes you feel. In the same way, you can behave as if you are confident and you will become confident. You will feel like you do at those times when you could conquer the world. Try it. Success tip number six: to create confidence, act is if you already are confident.
Have a great month!
