Successful Impact

“Impart as much as you can of your spiritual being to those who are on the road with you, and accept as something precious what comes back to you from them.” –Albert Schweitzer

One of my youngest aunts died recently; the first of my aunts to pass on.  My Aunt Theresa was short and rotund with a boyishly short haircut. She lived in my grandma’s house, which she inherited. Upon entering the house after her death, I was struck first by the heavy feeling of dust apparent in the living room and then by the stacks of boxes and papers carefully arranged in the room. Every area of her living room except for the walkways contained a small stack of stuff. On the surface, this doesn’t sound like a very successful person, does it? However, appearances can be deceiving. Success tip number one: to really measure the success of the life of another person, you often need to look deeper than what you first see.

Theresa was a collector, something we had in common. Our collecting interests were vastly different, but we shared the collector mentality. Every room in her house proved to contain neat stacks of boxes just like the living room. As I helped the family sort through them I found each contained elements of her various collections: rocks, genealogy references, candles she had made, news-clippings, paper-back books, clothing, magazines and comic-books. We shared an interest in comic books. I had collected some when I was younger and have always enjoyed animated shows, many of which were based on comic-books. When she and I talked, that was what we talked about. Success tip number two: to understand another person, find a common interest and explore it with them. 

I was fascinated by the breadth and depth of Theresa’s knowledge of the DC comic universe. This may sound like a trite thing to be an expert in, but she had a similar depth and breadth in every area that interested her. In fact, this was a common thread in my aunt’s life: she researched deeply and thoroughly the things that interested her and would gladly explain what she knew without being condescending. This is a rare trait for someone who has amassed a lot of knowledge. Many people learn all they can about something so that can flaunt their knowledge and use it as a measure of their worth. Others hoard their knowledge and share it only when it can make them look good. I never recall my aunt doing either of those things. In fact, she joined several organizations that allowed her to share her information. Many of the people involved in these clubs said that same thing – she knew a lot about things that interested her which she willingly shared in a non-imposing way. Success tip number three: Sharing your expertise with others will make you happier and the world around you better. 

As I mentioned, Theresa was involved with several volunteer groups. Among other things, she was very active in her local church, Toastmasters International and the local Friends of the Library. She also donated to several causes that interested her including the Nature Conservancy. However, she was not only a member of these groups, she was an active member in them and an officer in many of them. Since she lived in the same town as I did, I often saw her at the library when the Friends of the Library were putting on a program or show. She had come out to one of my Toastmaster group’s competitions as a guest speaker. Her speaking skills astounded me; we talked afterwards about all the wonderful personal growth opportunities that the group provided for its members. As my mom contacted the organizations to which Theresa belonged to let them know of the planned memorial service, she was struck by how many of these people were touched by Theresa. The people at her work insisted on taking up a collection for her. The lady at the Friends of the Library sobbed a bit as she detailed the depth of my aunt’s knowledge and willingness to help out. The church group wanted to help with a luncheon after the memorial service even though my mom wasn’t planning one. Success tip number four: successful people get involved and assist those they can help and learn from. 

When my sister Suzanne arrived at the airport from Atlanta for the funeral, I was sent to pick her up. Our conversation naturally drifted to our Aunt Theresa. Suzanne noted something that had not occurred to me. “When I was thinking about Aunt Theresa, I was struck by the fact that she was one of the most non-judgmental people I knew. She had friends from every walk of life, people of many different ages, races and religions. You don’t always find that in someone who is so interested in their church.” I should note that, among other things, my aunt was working on her Master’s Degree in Pastoral Ministry. Among her almost countless books were many on religion – not only her own, but several others as well. Success tip number five: the more accepting you are of other’s lives and beliefs, the more content and at peace you become and the more friends you will have. 

I also picked up my sister Kristine when she flew in from Baltimore, providing another opportunity to discuss our Aunt Theresa. Kristine was her goddaughter and they had a special bond that my aunt honored. She also gave me an interesting insight which had not struck me before. We had been talking about the stacks of boxes of stuff in her house and how that was all that was left of her. Kristine said she also left behind all the people she had been involved with. “Everyone thinks that Aunt Theresa wasn’t very social, but when you look at it in the right way, she really was. She was involved in all these different volunteer clubs and helped all kinds of different people out.” Thinking back to the outpouring of support from her workmates and volunteer groups, I was amazed by all the people she had actually touched. Success tip number six: the true measure of success in your life won’t be measured in possessions, influence or knowledge, but in the impact you ultimately have on other’s lives.

Have a great month!