Pirates in Paradise 2010 - Key West, Fl
Photo: Our Waitress
Chapter 2 - Of Thursday, when the fort was just getting set up. Focusing more on the
stuff that madPete, Shay and Mission did than anything else. Mostly they seemed to have eaten and drunk at
various Key West establishments. Well, they also visited Fort Zachary Taylor to watch everyone else work and
get in the way of people doing said work. This chapter also contains a brief foray into the new Pirate Village
located outside the gate which includes learning about Deadeye's new job as a mother. (Seriously.)
Shay, madPete and I had all decided to go out to breakfast on Thursday morning at the Blue Heaven Cafe, which is conveniently located near the condos. Regular readers may recall that this is an al-fresco dining establishment that your author loves to visit. Cats and chickens roam the grounds and only beg a little. (Well, inasmuch as chickens can beg. Mostly they just cock their heads and point one of their glass-looking eyes at you. It must work, because they look well-fed.)
Photo: Mission
The bone saw is so useful...
Since I had planned to work on the Surgeon's Journal all morning, I asked Shay
and madPete to be elsewhere. I know it's hard to believe while reading this stuff, but creating it
is a lot of work. (The things I do for you people...) So they were supposedly going to go on a journey to find
things to decorate the Model A with for the Key West Holiday parade which was taking place on Saturday. You'll note
that I said 'supposedly.' They did
stop off at Strunk ACE Hardware to get some PVC pipe to be used to mount a skull on the hood of the Model A. I guess that
was enough decorating, because they then went over to Fort Zachary Taylor,
where the portion of PiP the historical re-enactors was to start on Friday. They spent most of the three hours they were
gone hanging out there. Note that as I write this, I don't actually know if the Model A will be allowed to be in the
parade or not, but we're going to try. Further bulletins on that front as conditions warrant. When they got back to the
condo, they proudly presented me with a 3' long section of PVC. "We need to cut it," Pete said,
"Can we use your bonesaw?" Naturally that's just the reason I bought a 250 year old bonesaw, so he did.
To get some fodder for the journal, I suggested that we walk downtown and see the Walk the Plank contest. We got downtown and...no Walk the Plank Contest! There was a simultaneous slapping of palms against foreheads followed by both madPete and Shay proclaiming, "The contest is down by the Pirate Village!" This is about 300 yards from the condo. Downtown Key West is probably just under a mile. So we had a nice walk back, only to learn that it was too windy to hold the contest and it had been postponed and rescheduled for Saturday, although your author will probably be slaving over a hot microprocessor while it occurs. So - no soup for you. Just so our sojourn wasn't a total loss, we toddled over to the fort gate and checked in with Lily Alexander. (That's her, madPete and one of the fort people overseeing the whole check-in process below right.)
Photo: Mission |
 Photo: Mission |
Photo: Mission
Look, it's a che-root!
Since we were at the gate, we decided to meander into the fort and see what was going on. (Anything to avoid working on the
Surgeon's Journal...) There I got hugged by entirely too many people. Regular readers will know that hugging is not my thing
which of course means everyone must do it the second they see me. Some of them think this gives them\
reason to hug me multiple times. Incidentally, those of you who like hugging should
take note and employ this as a strategy to be hugged. (I assure you this is not my plan, but I've talked about it so often
that I have to make note of it whenever possible.)
We quickly ran into the Mercury ship's Captai-, er, Quartermaster, William Red Wake. He is shown at right smoking a root. Yes, a root. William does not drink and he does not smoke. He is not a good role model of the Mercury pirates.
We also saw a gaggle of Archangels including Israel Cross (below left) who was sporting a rather natty Thrum cap and a Navy peacoat. Matty Short Thumb (below center) introduced himself to me. (Lots of people I don't know instantly recognize me. It's the hat.) Matty revealed the reason he was called that. He claimed he gotten his thumb caught in a block and that this was a common thing that happened shipboard. (Being the ship's surgeon, I knew this, but I humored him.) Still, if it were me, I would claim it had been chewed off by a rabid marlin or something. (Presuming marlins can get rabies. And presuming you could get your hand into their mouth - they have those large noses or whatever they're called.) Although these folks appear relaxed and engaging here (sort of engaging), they were actually all scurrying around, setting up camp for the opening of the event tomorrow. After twenty minutes of scurrying, they all loaded up in Captain Sterling's red truck and headed down to the gate to check in. You simply have to start humming the theme to the Beverly Hillbillies as you look at the (awfully exposed) picture below right.
Photo: Mission
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Photo: Mission
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 Photo: Mission |
Photo: James Callahan
Poppa Ratsi was also out and about at the fort, taking photos of people. Readers of past Pirates in Paradise
Surgeon's Journals may recall that many of the better photos in the journal were
taken by Poppa. (You may notice this difference even more starkly now that the only photos I can include are those
I take and those that Shay takes. Photography is admittedly not one of my fortes. Shay
told me she once took photos at a wedding where she managed to chop off the top of every single person's head (with
the camera. We're pirates, not barbarians. Being a barbarian requires a whole new set of clothes.)
Poppa is actually taking photos from last year and turning them into artwork during the
event. (Yes, he is a geek like me. Only geeks do computer work during a pirate re-enactment.) A very small percentage
of these are shown
here. I thought I'd pick photos of the people who are sadly absent. At left are Mark
and Jennie Gist. (During shrinking, the lovely background texture got a bit wonky. Sorry about that.) Below are
(from left): Red Jessi, Sansanee, Commodore Swab (Shay's son) and Kate Bagley. Again, I had
to shrink these to fit them on my page and it does not do them justice. Please check out the
link above or the ones below the photos to see the originals.
 Photo: James Callahan |
 Photo: James Callahan |
 Photo: James Callahan |
 Photo: James Callahan |
In addition to all that, Poppa is also posting shots of things going on as they go on. Below you'll find a few portrait photos that he has posted of the event so far.
 Photo: James Callahan Piratitude |
 Photo: James Callahan Chang Pao |
 Photo: James Callahan Hurricane sings his hits! |
 Photo: James Callahan Scarlett Jai rocking (and rolling?) |
Photo: Mission
Pirate Village - Pirate's Island
It seemed like work was in the offing inside the fort, so I suggested we leave. (I am nothing if not irresponsible.) I wanted to check
out the Pirate Village, which I believe had been running since the event started. (The Fort Taylor part of the event is
historically oriented, running Friday through Sunday while the Pirate Village/Pirate's in Paradise part is more pop-pirate
oriented.) The Pirate village proved to be filled with all sorts of interesting places whose themes ran the gamut. There
were probably 10 or 20 establishments here, of which you see a sampling in these photos - from a sort of surfer pirate place
all the way to a kilt vendor. One of the vendors was the Pyracy Pub's own Jamaica Rose's place. Jamaica and her husband
Michael had all sorts of interesting items. (Shay bought a skull from them to put on the hood of the Model A for the parade.) They
were also signing copies of their recently-released kid's book.
Photo: MissionPirate Village - Kilts and More |
Photo: MissionPirate Village - Jamaica Rose's |
Photo: Mission Pirate Village - Timely Treasures |
Photo: Shay
While we were in the Pirate Village, we ran into none other than Deadeye. As you may recall from previous Journals,
Deadeye's name is highly inappropriate because his vision is such that he is legally blind. (You may also recall from
the 2009 Journal
that I returned the mug that Stynky stole from him and sent to me in 2008.) He informed us that he now had a new job as a kayak guide.
Deadeye explained that there are some very small protected Keys off the coast of Key West where he took people in
kayaks while he explained how the mangroves create the Keys and revealed details other local flora and fauna. He seemed
most excited about his new job.
He told us that the highlight of this job so far had been when he was present for the birthing of a dolphin which appears to have imprinted on him. Because of this, every time he is out at that mangrove clump when the dolphin family is around, the baby goes up to him and rolls around and plays in front of them. So we decided to refer to him as Dolphin Daddy Deadeye in the future. (This is not something you want to try to say fast when you've been drinking, incidentally.) Having been out for quite a while, the Shay, madPete and I decided to wander back to the condo. I should note that the weather cooled down the day before and it has been lovely walking weather here. (Jealous yet?)
Photo: Mission
I know I have mentioned and provided photos of my favorite restaurant in the world before, but I have
to do it again. We had all decided the day before that we would go to
Cafe Sole that very night. Since madPete was already in garb,
I suggested that we all do so. So Shay and I climbed into our gear. Shay was excited to show off her
new stays, which she said were a dramatic improvement over the ones she had made for
the Lockhouse Event
this past July. She wanted me to tighten the laces, but I wasn't finished with the day before's journal and
was trying to get the thing posted. Fortunately madPete was there to assist. (Mission and making clothing look
good are two concepts that do not even belong in the same sentence together, so it
was probably for the best.) All turned out well - the Journal page was published, Shay was properly laced and
we processed down the street in fyne style.
When we got there, it fell to me to pick the wine. Neither madPete nor Shay drank much, so I studiously looked at the list as you can see below left. Of course, all I did was pick the same thing I'd picked when Shay and I had gone here the night before (a Savignon Blanc by the name of Matua from New Zealand. I remember this only because 'Matua' is one letter off from 'Mantua' which Shay had explained to me in great detail in the months before while she sewed herself one.) We toasted and had a fine time of it. I recommended my favorite dish, Hogfish, which I am now recommending to you if you ever make it down here and find this most wonderful restaurant. While we waited, Shay explained how women's pockets worked, which involved revealing her underclothing - something called a 'shift' - to all and sundry. Of course, a shift would put most modern ball dresses to shame as far as covering one's self goes, so it wasn't really very revealing. Even the waitress hovered for a bit to learn about the separate pockets.
Photo: Mission
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Photo: Mission
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Photo: Mission
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On the way back, we passed the most garishly Christmas-lit house in all of Key West. (Well the most garishly lit one I've seen so far on this trip.) They do this every year, because I've seen it every year and tried to get a good photo of it every year and failed...every year. This year I was smart. (I am using 'smart' in a very elastic way here.) I turned OFF the flash (which is bloody useless in such situations) and rested the camera on top of a car to hold it steady. See, I've learned that if you move the camera even a little bit, you wind up with blobs of color that look like what happens after eating children's cereal and then imbibing one too many drinks. Of the dozen I took, these two actually, sort of came out, so I present them here for your edification.
 Photo: Mission |
Photo: Mission
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The night was still relatively young, so we chose to wander back to Fat Tuesday for a night cap. It's odd that I should wind up returning to this place so often on this trip. I went there once when I first came down here about twenty years ago. I was in town with my sister Suzanne and we were staying in a condo in New Town. We kept hearing about how much fun Old Town was, so we decided to see it. (Key West Lesson #1: Do not stay in New Town if you want to maximize your fun.) So we rented bikes and pedalled downtown in the middle of a hot sunny day. Fat Tuesday looked neat with all its rotating drums filled with daquiris, so we stopped and had one. Then another. Then we decided to peddle back in the hot sun. I cannot emphasize the word 'hot' enough here. We got back to the condo with the kind of dehydration head-ache that can only be achieved by the truly uniformed. (Key West Lesson #2: do not ride and drink in the hot sun if you want to be worth a whit for the rest of the day.) But I digress (per usual.)
Once the three of us got to Fat Tuesday, madPete sprung for drinks again (He's a prince of a guy. Seriously.) We decided to sit at the rail and watch the people stream buy on the sidewalk. We were spotted by a gaggle of gals who were out celebrating who knows what. They came over and begged to have their photo taken with us. Naturally, I informed them that there was a reciprocal photo charge, to which they agreed. (They would have agreed to darned-near anything, they were so drunk. And I'll leave that comment right there.) After the photo was taken (you can see it below left), one of them pressed two bucks into my hand and insisted we take it in payment. (I guess the recipocal photos payment wasn't enought. Perhaps they didn't know what the word 'reciprocal' meant. They were really quite wasted.) My first payment for being a pirate! Huzzah!
Following that adventure, Shay decided we needed to go out in the Model A and see Duvall. It is the sort of street that lends itself to cruising. I forgot everything I had explained previously and took a photo of our procession down the street, the sad results of which you can see below right. We then got lost and finally decided to go find a liquor store where we might (hopefully) find a bottle of The McCallan Cask Reserve scotch.
 Photo: Someone I'll never meet again |
Photo: Mission
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Even the liquor store search turned into an adventure. The store that had been recommended to us was closed. I knew of another one that was just down the street, right next to a strip club called 'Bare Assets.' (Get it? No, I didn't think it was very clever either.) As it turned out, the liquor store was owned by the strip club and to get into it after hours, you had to go through the strip club. In a fit of prudishness, I decided against that, but Shay and madPete sauntered right in. Before long, I saw them both inside the liquor store together (as you can see in the photo below left. Well, you can if you have 20/10 vision.) Then they came right out. Neither claimed to have looked around in the club. (Which I took in the same way as I do when most guys say they buy Playboy for the articles.) After all that, I decided that I had had enough fun for one day and it seemed like a good time to turn in, so I did. So I did.
 Photo: Someone I'll never meet again |
Photo: Mission
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